mainsqueeze's Diaryland
Diary
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strongest man alive
I never got a chance to do this earlier in the month, so I am doing it now. This, friends, is what happened to me in 2004:
This year saw old friendships go up in a fiery haze and slowly begin to rise anew from the ashes. This year saw me move from the place that has always been and always will be home-- Mom's house-- to a place that never came close. I almost quit my job about ninety times, came extremely close to being fired, and SURPRISE! I got promoted. June, July, and most of August are collectively referred to as "My Nervous Breakdown," because I was walking dead and in pain and ready to leap into traffic for most of that time period; I was snapped out of it by a beautiful new friend I met through questionable circumstances. I broke up with my boyfriend shortly after our one year anniversary, slept with beautiful new friend, got back together with boyfriend after a month, and I miss beautiful new friend terribly. I fell harder and faster than I ever have before for the idea of living a family life, settling down and making babies and putting a picket fence on the lawn, and I fell even harder for Jeromy's daughter, a gorgeous, sweet, developmentally challenged three year old with big blue eyes and soft curls and the widest stubborn streak I've ever seen. For the last month or so of 2004, I began to doubt that a family life was what I really wanted, because what about London and Canadian boys and the stupid inspiration that comes from loneliness? I am still deciding who to be, and probably will be for the next several years. Maybe forever. In 2004, I realized what an utter shit I am, which I guess I always knew, but this time I wanted to do something to fix that, so I learned how to say sorry and I signed up for driving classes and adopted higher standards of cleanliness and began to work on making amends.
2:24 p.m. - 2005-01-22
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