mainsqueeze's Diaryland Diary

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MULLIGANS

Sweet, sweet March. I'm just glad to be finished with fucking evil, heart-breaking, miserable February.

March seems to be going a little bit better, although Jeromy is still devoted to sucking every last bit of goodness right out of me. I'm not kidding when I say that I fear for my sanity when he is around. I mean that. I became a dish-breaker the other day, slammed a dinner plate right down in the sink and shattered two plates and a glass and then ran off to my bedroom crying and yelling and seriously worrying that I was going to hurt somebody. Nobody else has ever inspired such sheer fury in me.

But that was February.

Here is where we all are, now:
Crystal and Matt do not speak. Adrian summed it up best the other day when he said, "Yeah, I was going to have a barbecue this weekend, and then I realized that I couldn't have ONE barbecue. So now I'm having two fucking barbecues." Yes, it really would be THAT bad.
There is a boy who made (still kind of makes) me feel floaty, and he has not shown any interest in my existence for nearly two weeks now. Where exactly can a girl find a list of rules about boys and how to go about perhaps communicating with them?
Now there is another boy, and I have worked with him for a year or so, and tomorrow he is bringing me a copy of his Willie Nelson cd because he says he knows I'll love it. He thinks of me, I guess, and this makes me happy.
I hear collections of sounds, right, combinations of this and that, and my throat gets thick for no reason at all. This is because you are all beautiful and sometimes, I see it all at once.

1:52 a.m. - 2005-03-03

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