mainsqueeze's Diaryland Diary

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

-

We were locked in the bathroom together, her father's angry fists against the door and my skinny thirteen year old arms tight around her as he screamed, "Give me back my daughter you fucking bitch!" I was kissing her forehead and telling her it was all okay, it was all okay, I'd always keep her safe. That was the day I decided, black eyes and purple fingers across my throat and my back: I would keep her safe, always. I'd die for her.
And tonight, a bomb is dropped. I fucking failed. I feel so sick. I feel sick I feel sick I feel sick I feel sick I feel sick I eel sick I feel sickl I feel sick I feel sicj I feel sick I feel sick I feel sick I feel sick I feel sick I feesl sick I feel sick I feel sick I feel sick I feel sick Ifeel sick I feel sick I feel SICK I feel sick I feel sick I feel sick I feel sick I feel sick I feel sick
BECAUSE I WAS SUPPOSED TO PROTECT HER. I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THERE, ALWAYS. I was the one who brought him home, the one who introduced him to my family, the one who suggested it would be a good idea for him to watch her when we needed a sitter. I HANDED HER TO HIM. I will find him and I will hurt him, let her deliver the killing blow if she wants to. No more little girls. No more little girls will cry at two am because they think they're in trouble for remembering something that happened a long time ago. Never again. Oh, fuck, I'm so sorry. I am so fucking sorry.

3:31 a.m. - 2005-08-12

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

previous - next