mainsqueeze's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- gardens of green Oh boy, oh boy. Jody said, "When it rains, it pours," and he wasn't kidding. I wasn't even asking for rain, I swear. But then a drop hit me, right in the eye. And this drop, he reminds me of when I could do something as simple as sitting in the passenger seat of a car and feel like the only right thing to do was reach over and touch, reach over to remind myself that I could touch at all. He reminds me of wanting to see somebody and learn about them and maybe absorb a tiny bit of them into myself so that when they left-- cause you always left and huge parts of my life since then have been devoted to filling that hole-- I could have something of them to hold on to. So... so I want to hold on, a little bit. I don't want to fuck him or kiss him; I want to know him. I want to hold on. I think maybe this one, I might be able to help him learn how to let go. 6:41 a.m. - 2006-04-19 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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