mainsqueeze's Diaryland Diary

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hypnotic sounds

I have the house to myself. No plans, no obligations, just me and the dogs and a beer and The Replacements and a little bit of empty space. I'm not sure what to do with myself. I haven't been alone, really alone, at all in the past three weeks. Do I like this? Remind me, please, do I?
It has been awhile since I've had the opportunity to just think. I've been a busy girl, juggling way too many half-assed and potentially-disastrous relationships to take a few moments to catch my breath and think about what it is that I want and what it is that I do not want and what I can settle for and what isn't worth settling for and so on. I don't want a white knight. I don't want to be a white knight. I don't want to tie myself down and I don't want to float away. I don't want to fall in love but I want to be able to choose to if I decide that I want it. So, now, after writing and thinking and trying to pinpoint what exactly I am looking for, all I have really determined is that I have no idea.
I probably should have just watched some cartoons.

3:01 a.m. - 2007-03-10

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