mainsqueeze's Diaryland Diary

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leamealone

Ughhhhh. It is 4pm on a Wednesday afternoon and I kinda --okay, I really really, really-- want to go back to bed. My head hurts. My back hurts. I have a horrible hacking couch, which isn't abnormal because I am an idiot and I smoke but somehow the horrible hacking couch that I have today is different from the one I had yesterday, which did not make me clutch my temples for fear that those little throbby veins were going to explode right out of the side of my head. How's that for descriptive?
Matt says I was "mean," last night. This bothers me (albeit mildly, but still) because I am the world's most insanely cuddly little love-bug ever. If it were up to me I would spent the majority of my time being hugged and kissed and snuggled and I would not ever get sick of it 'cause I am a fool for human contact, okay? So, last night was an exception, one of the two or so per year where I don't want to be touched and I don't want to be hugged or kissed or any of that good stuff--for no particular reason. So, anyhow, last night Matt was apparently experiencing one of the two nights per year where he wants to be all touchy-lovey and shit and guess what? I just was not feelin' it. We clashed but it was a wee little clash, and this morning (afternoon) when I woke up I found a text message from my beloved telling me I was "mean" last night. Damnit, seven nights a week, thirty or so days a month, I am an affection whore and when Matt gets home from work the dogs and I take turns jumping on him excitedly and because I am bigger, I chase them away and smother him with kisses and hugs and he mutters, "Wah, wah... personal time... decompress... blah." And then I sit in the living room and pout for a minute before finding a distraction and he plays computer games for a couple hours and eventually he decides he is ready to face the tidal wave of love and adoration waiting in the other room and joins me. And I never tell him he is being "mean." I try to do this crazy thing where I recognize that we have two different personalities and it sucks and compromise is hard but I make a studied effort to not make him feel like shit about it.
... Aaaaaand, eight-ish hours later, it turns out my two "I don't wanna be touched or kissed or looooooved goddamnit" days were scheduled right smack next to one another this year. Neat!

4:18 p.m. - 2007-12-19

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