mainsqueeze's Diaryland Diary

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NOW I get it!

So, I've been trying to update over the past week and a half, I really have, but every time I open this window I type about two paragraphs before I get distracted and decide to finish later. What inevitably happens after that is Matt shuts down his computer or I forget and shut mine down and since d-land doesn't save, guess what? All of those crappy, poorly planned paragraphs get zapped away and sent to the cyber-dump. Where they belong.
Okie doke, here is what's what at the moment: I finally got my new boss, and yes, she is awesome, but GODDAMN. I forgot what it was like to have a "highly involved" supervisor. I would like to try to bullshit you all and say that I work at my own pace, but really, I kinda just fuck around all day until the last hour of my shift, when I rush to get everything done. This works out just swimmingly for me, but the suits don't seem to like that so much. I am no longer flying under the rader. Sigh.
Last night, Matt said something that finally destroyed that tiny bit of lingering doubt I was having about whether or not he was truly committed-- I said something like, "I appreciate you making me a priority," and his response? "Damnit, when are you going to get that I don't 'make you A priority?' You are THE priority." Awwwww. This was all inspired by him double-booking a date with me and hang-out night with a female friend, who apparently went effing ape-shit on him when he cancelled. Long story short, I gave him an out and said I wouldn't be upset if he went out with his friend (who is going through some shit, as Matt tells me) and a nice long talk ensued, he told me he "loves the way we fight," ha, and we ended up having an awesome dinner together. I know, I know, any NORMAL girl would have understood by now that she was THE priority but I am not that girl so it took me until, oh, last night. I have had men say "I love you" mere days or even hours from the time they decided to wreck the fuck out of my life. I have had them reassure me and say that I was the only one within the same week as finding out they were cheating. God. People are scandalous. So, yeah, to say that I am guarded when it comes to relationships would be the understatement of the year.
I am now off to work, where I will be MONITORED FOR PRODUCTIVITY. Ugggggh, I hate corporate slang. Okay, bye kiddos.

12:28 p.m. - 2008-01-26

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