mainsqueeze's Diaryland Diary

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A Million Reasons

I have updated a million times this month in my head, and a few times I even started typing it all out, but everything just looked wrong and silly. I will get you up to speed:
- I moved into my house two weeks ago. Every time I walk through the door I experience this weird and amazing feeling, like even though I just moved in and a good half of my stuff is still sitting in my garage, this is home. Like this place was waiting for me. The first day I saw it, about three months ago, I noticed a wooden owl in the backyard, which was odd because the prior owners had taken EVERYTHING else out, not a marble on the floor or anything. And I am silly and superstitious sometimes, so when I saw the owl, that's when I decided I wanted to buy this house. It works from a financial perspective, as well-- if I decide to move in a few years, I can rent this place out for a nice chunk, or I could sell it, or anything. It is nice feeling like my future is more secure than it ever has been before.
- Matt IS bipolar, and he is on new meds to treat it. We have been through about ten different prescriptions since we started dating, and this one is working better than any of the rest; Matt is not quite happy, but content, his sex drive has returned, and he doesn't have a melt-down over the tiny little things that would have had him teetering on the edge before. He seems to have a new appreciation for me, which is awesome in itself. A week or so ago, he sent me a message that said, "I would fight a war for you if somebody stole you from me. You are my Helen of Troy." That coming from a guy who thinks fish and chips at the British pub down the street is the height of romance? Pretty priceless.
- Ed is coming to visit me in six days. I could not be happier at the prospect of having my best friend back home again. I am a little concerned about the way he and Matt will interact-- Ed and I are closer than any other male friend I currently have, and I don't want to alienate Matt, but I am also looking forward to nine zillion hugs from my Ed. I missed him terribly.
-Trent, the drunk beer-opener hat guy, was actually right about a few things. I really can't believe this is my life. It isn't perfect, but it feels really, really good.

12:19 p.m. - 2008-10-30

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